EAST BAY CITIZEN. EVERYWHERE SINCE 2009

Thursday, September 23, 2010

Blogger Pete

EXCLUSIVE: STARK GOT A GREAT DEAL ON CAMPAIGN SIGNS IN '86, USES ONE EVERY TWO YEARS!
Get Pete Stark an account with Blogger! The long-time East Bay congressman has not one, but two published opinion pieces in today's papers. Stark celebrated the enacting of several new health care regulations that begin today in an article for the Oakland Tribune. He also pushed in the Financial Times for taxing speculative Wall Street micro-trades to help underdeveloped nations in advanced of the UN Summit beginning next Monday in New York and found time to rip Republicans for protecting insurance companies.

Some might say it is just the wily Stark making an election season play for votes this November, but his single obligatory campaign sign that typically signals victory was seen this week on the corner of San Leandro Boulevard and East 14th Street. Mind you, it is not the huge diamond-shaped, on-deck circle size campaign sign, but the much smaller model suitable for lawns. Apparently, the smaller the sign, the less worried Stark is about his re-election chances.

A word to candidates, the use of the font Trajan will always guarantee victory. Look it up. Conversely, hand-lettering your signs from leftover paper plates like former San Leandro city council candidate Mark Tichy employed two years ago before falling to Councilman Jim Prola, will only lead to defeat, but a strong showing for third grade treasurer.

Stark's plain white signs with a red font have not changed in seemingly 25 years. I've said this before, but I believe Stark got great deal on 50 campaign signs in 1986 and merely employed one every two years. By that accounting, he still has 20 years left in Washington. By that time, he will hold his town hall meeting in hologram form begging the question: will adults still understand the pop culture reference "Pete, your our only hope" and will Golden Gate Minuteman cameraman Steve Kemp have the technology to record the see-through image of the congressman? On a deeper note, will Stark support illegal avatars from Mexico jumping onto U.S. servers? Hmm, I think he will and so will Emperor Obama.

-STEVEN TAVARES

3 comments :

The problem is he didn't do any of the writing. You can't do too much wearing Depends and popping geritol.

Far be it for me to say he wears Depends and someone wearing Depends can't write...but just as old Pete calls out others, I call him out on this one. We all know few politicians actually write anything...one can find his voice to ghost write after working for him for several years.

Post a Comment