Monday, December 17, 2012

2012 Year In Lists: Funniest Moments In East Bay Politics

1. San Leandro Councilman-elect Benny Lee agrees to a policy during a candidates forum, begins to describes why he supports it, but then asks, "Wait, what is that?" To be fair, when the moderator asked the other candidates what the audience-generated questions was referring to, nobody knew, either.

2. Hayward's profilic public commenter Jim Drake teases Jesus Armas for cheating on his wife with fellow school board member Maribel Heredia. "You have Filet Mignon at home and you go out and get hamburger," Drake publicly told Armas. "It's not right. It's not morally right." Presumably, Armas also enjoys a bag of fries on the side.

3. One of the nicest people in local politics, Sarabjit Cheema, a New Haven school board member running for the 20th Assembly District seat, gives a speech at the Hayward Demos referring to herself in the third person. She replaces "I" with "Cheema" over two dozen times in the address, while audiences shift uncomfortably in their seats. She then ends her remarks by saying, "Remember, Cheema/Obama, Obama/Cheema. It rhymes."

Eric Swalwell: Rookie of the year.
4. Pete Stark's campaign sends a hilarious mailer to voters in the 15th Congressional District calling Eric Swalwell a rookie and depicting him as a young tee-ball player playing with big leaguers. Later, Swalwell doesn't quite grasp the joke and acts like he's in out. He posts photos of himself in a homemade ball cap similar to the hat photoshopped by Stark's campaign.

5. Nadia Lockyer's sex video is still the talk of the town, but the YouTube description of the short clips by her ex-boyfriend Steve Chikhani is rollicking bit of political satire mixed with snide rejoinders. One video is hilariously titled, "Nadia Lockyer trying to get my vote," while another of the former supervisor going to town on herself has the description, "Here's the former Alameda County Supervisor giving herself a little tax relief.""


Jim Drake and Ann Terases need to be given a EBcitizen award for keeping the Hayward School District honest. They were constantly after the "romantic" adulterers of Armas and Heredia for being salacious and corrupt.

My vote for the funniest goes to Mary Hayashi's speech to the Alameda County Democratic Party endorsement meeting on Sept. 15th. 2012

Here is what she said.

"I'm gonna run on my record"
"I made a HONEST human mistake"
"I'm gonna move forward with integrity"

All that from 1:17 to 1:28 on the YouTube video


By MW:

If Nadia Lockyer is now totally and permanently retired from Alameda County politics, then I think we may have found the perfect person to replace her, in other words a character by the name of Suzy Favor Hamilton.

More specifically, today the news broke that a character by the name of Suzy Favor Hamilton, and who evidently ten or twenty years ago was a major and prominent college track star (it has been many years since I paid much attention to college sports, so therefore her name did not ring a bell), and who evidently in more recent years has been portraying herself as a successful model, businesswoman, and motivational speaker, has also been secretly working as a prostitute, and that the escort service she worked for also attempted to lure future clients for her services by advertising her in photos similar to the ones Steven Chikhani took of Nadia Lockyer.

And still furthermore her husband is a lawyer, and just like Nadia Lockyer's husband, in other words Bill Lockyer, is.

So I think we should place a special tax of one dollar per person on all residents of Alameda County to get the funding to subsidize Suzy Favor Hamilton and her husband moving to Alameda County, and then once she is here we can place her on the AC Board of Supervisors.

In fact if we can also put Mary Hayashi on the AC Board in addition to Suzy Favor Hamilton, we can then declare AC government to be the newest and most advanced form of a Ringling Brothers and Barnum and Bailey Circus (and which it already is very close to being), and then make a fortune selling tickets to watch our clowns, er, excuse me, I mean our politicians, provide entertainment to anyone willing to spend one hundred dollars per ticket to be entertained by watching our clowns, er, excuse me, I mean our politicians, in action.

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