Wednesday, July 30, 2014

Swalwell Named Sixth Most Beautiful in Unattractive D.C.

Rep. Eric Swalwell: this is the sixth most
beautiful person in Washington?
CONGRESS | 15TH DISTRICT | Rep. Eric Swalwell was named to the The Hill's annual 50 Most Beautiful People in D.C. I know. You're probably right. They didn't interview him in person. While the congressional news outlet's annual feature is a fun change of pace for the summer, it is also easily mocked.

On a list that also includes Sen. Rand Paul and his ridiculous curly rug, Swalwell was chosen sixth most beautiful. Swalwell isn't unattractive, but has the nation's capitol really dropped to the depths of where a palsy-faced, baby-toothed congressman is the sixth hottest person in the Beltway?

The Washington Post had its own list of eight weird quotes gleaned from The Hill's picks, including one from Swalwell, who appeared to be portraying himself as a reformed nerd. “I finally learned it’s not cool to iron your jeans. My dad would iron my jeans, so all the way up to college, I would iron my jeans,” said Swalwell.

Swalwell wearing white pants in July
2012--pre-Labor Day.
Nonetheless, aside from Tri Valley conservatives, Swalwell is actually very popular among gay men. In fact, here's a trick. Flash his photo to your gay friend and ask for their opinion. You'll likely get a uhhhh huh. In addition, according to his Twitter feed, Swalwell has a rather large shoe collection which he is inclined to show off every time time he enters an airplane.

Not to suggest Swalwell is gay, but this infamous exchange with the San Francisco Chronicle from 2012 titled, "Eligible but busy" sure seems strange within that context. "Swalwell is not married and said he does not even have a girlfriend, much less children," wrote Carolyn Lochhead. "Asked if that means he is an eligible bachelor, Swalwell said, 'Yeah, I guess. Focusing on getting a family going will be a priority in the coming years.' He appended that reply to say, 'Eligible but busy. I don’t know where that ranks you on eHarmony or Match.com.'”


  1. By MW:

    My selection for the best looking person in Washington DC, and in fact also in politics anywhere, is Nancy Botoxelosi.

  2. How do you define beautiful

  3. By MW:

    Concerning the post of 8:16AM, first of all the only people I am willing to consider in the contest for most beautiful are those who are natural beauties. In other words, I am not willing to consider those who have had artificial enhancements or help, and such as for instance surgery or silicone, etc.

    And Nancy Botoxelosi is as natural as they come, in other words she is a 24 karat NATURAL gold medal quality phony in every possible way, and from her botox injections and to her politics, and in which she pretends that she is a great liberal and wonderful humanitarian, and even though she, and just like most of the people who compose the leadership of the Democratic Party, is nothing but a parasite, charlatan, demagogue and a money grubbing leech.

    In other words Botoxelosi, and just like
    "Dead Broke" Hillary, is a BEAUTIFUL and NATURAL example of a total phony.

  4. Good thing Corbett won't be going to Washington D.C. she'd fit right in with all the ugly people. FAT ASS!!

  5. INone of my business what Swalwell's sexual preference is. As long as he does the job he was elected to do. My own personal experiences with him have shown me that he is a true double talker-just like all the other politicians.

  6. Hahahahahahahahahahahahhajahah

  7. What a poorly written and incredibly bigoted article. A Steven Tavares classic I suppose.

    Also, DC is not an unattractive place. Hill's 50 most beautiful list often leaves a lot to be desired but Congressman Swalwell certainly belongs on a list like that. He is beautiful.

  8. Somebody's got a bro-mance with our congressman.

  9. By MW:

    On any list of the most beautiful we would have to include Dianne Feinstein, since she is a beautiful, and fact absolutely perfect, example of a world class phony, demagogue, charlatan, parasite, and blood sucking leech who pretends to be a great liberal and wonderful humanitarian.